Jude's song - IHS - In His Shirt

We switched shirt that day

and I left mine in his tomb

somewhere to be found by

a convert who knows love

, that print it wore his face

as I had lost mine to him

in the shadow of my past

God and how I loved him

once dear like I cherished

her as she'd cleansed the

burdens of my soul yet his

'd being freed already long

before I'd decided to love 

and switch shirt with him

in that grave where hurt

was exchanged between

our worlds and our faces

started to resemble the

outlines of this tortured

life for loving too much

God and fellow men so 

in the end he could not

fight off the demons I'd

so carefully segregated

inside the vaults within

my heart on his sleeve

in hoc signo conquered

the I as human saviour

now to foot a shadowy

basilica in Turin centre

o how I miss my Lord

and Master's impress

so I asked Jake to tell

him that I loved him in

his shirt that I left as a 

shrine for her to sense

and see a blurred face 

that was once his and 

now mine as I howled

while a rooster crowed

three times "I am lost"

as a string ensemble 

reechoed my scream

pressed In His Shirt.. 

© 2023-03-04

Explanatory.

It started with an irrepressible song (in terms of lyrics, performance and atmosphere) that kept playing in my head. And then a few lines that came to mind and I wrote down e.g. "I'm wearing his shirt" and "a shadow of my past"; and the emotion these brought up in me. I thought of my love for the great master of the past and his death and let that thought merge with my love for my dearest (the "her" in the poem), then the thought of the shroud (of Turin) came up which I subsequently combined with a question to Jake ( a nickname for Jacob and here referring to the brother of Jesus) that Jude might have asked him. And the thought of Jude led me thinking of another kind of betrayal and a rooster crowing three times "I am lost" (a reference to Peter's denials and doesn't denial equal betrayal..) and throughout the poem there's the suggestion of this I as the immortal who lived in the era of Jesus and still lives among us presently (..you're welcome Khidr..). Then I switched from "wearing his shirt" to "In His Shirt" and from there to the other meanings of the letters IHS* and the echoed "I'm lost" brought me from the hurt of Jude to Edvard Munch's scream but then smothered in the fabric of a shirt. And back I was in Turin.... Et voila. Funny isn't it how a mind can jump from one to another and yet another and knits it all together.

* IHS: 

In Hoc Signo (vinces) Latin for In This Sign (thou shalt conquer); and/or 

Iesus Hominum Salvator - Jesus Saviour of Men  

© 2023-03-04